Scooters are for men who want to ride motorcycles, but prefer to feel the wind on their vaginas.
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Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Larry The Cable Guy on Lousy Carolers
I had a caroler come to my door last night, and he really sucked: "Don't let your dog shit in my yard, and quit peeking in my windows or I am calling the cops". That don't even rhyme! Not to mention, hollering ain't singing. What a moron!
(I must give credit to Larry the Cable Guy for posting similar on
Facebook, I changed it slightly, but he gets credit for the joke.)
Kick-Ass Qoute: George Carlin
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| I can't disagree. But that's why men have so much fun...half of us are too stupid to know we really shouldn't be doing what we are doing, the other half knows we shouldn't be doing it, but are too stupid to care. R.I.P. Mr. Carlin |
Kick-Ass Quote: Will Rogers
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."
(Will Rogers)
Kick-Ass Quote: Lee Iacocca
When you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
(Lee Iacocca quoting his father)
The difference between a friend, and a real friend...
A friend will bail you out of jail.
A real friend will be sitting there next to you in the cell saying: "Shit, I guess we fucked up....but DAMN that was fun!"
(Tim's 2 cents)
Father of the Year
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| Well done Chris' dad....but from now on keep tabs on what he is putting out there, so that you nip it in the bud at the first sign of "gangsta"....before the ho beatings and fatty rolling. |
Kick-Ass Quote: John F. Kennedy
My father always told me that all businessmen were sons of bitches, but I never believed it till now.
(John F. Kennedy)
Kick Ass Quote: Samuel Clemons a.k.a. Mark Twain
Laws control the lesser man....right conduct controls the greater one.
(Mark Twain)
Sunday Service: Worried To Death
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| Just being in a room full of hypocrites will make you want to do it yourself! |
Columbus Day Is a Bogus Hoax
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| Just one more instance that we were lied to in school. I'd like to see just one 3rd grader ask the teacher this question: How the fuck did Columbus "discover" America when the
Indians were already here? What's wrong with schools teaching the truth? |
Kick-Ass Quote: Unknown On Gun Control
You want to take our guns? Fine, we'll give them to you.....bullets first.
(unknown)
Always remember: If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.
Kick-Ass Quote: Johnny Dare
You want romance? Light a candle while we do it doggy.
(Johnny Dare, Morning DJ 98.9 The Rock KQRC Kansas City)
Quote of the week...
It takes a big man to cry....It takes an even bigger man to laugh at the big man crying.
(Heard on 98.9 The Rock KQRC Kansas City)
Quote of the week...
Not even an hour, and he's already a big ole bowl of pussy whip.
(Jax Teller, Sons of Anarchy referring to Opie on his wedding day)
Quote of the week...
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
G.K. Chesterton
(thanks to Julie Bremer-Huckleberry for suggesting this quote)
Here was my comment in regards to this quote: I drink, I smoke, I cuss like a Sailor, I wish bad things on folks who do 45 in the fast lane and I don't go to church nearly as often as I should....but I am still a whole lot more Christian that 95% of the hypocrites who are always announcing their Christianity.
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